Jordan's English Journal

Have a go at assessing your last Controlled Assessment against the AQA criteria

Hi Jordan,

Ms Seaman in the library has a book she thinks will be perfect for your project. It’s the autobiography of a WWII pilot.
She’s keeping it back so you can collect it.

Ms Lindsay said the following:

There is a very good fiction book about WW2 aimed at teenagers called Tamar by Mal Peet – it goes back in time as somebody discovers her grandfather’s role. Another WW2 I would recommend is The Cruel Sea by Nicholas Monserat – he only wrote the one book but it is based on what he heard from others.

Righto!

Mr Waugh

Beyond the gloomy bridge a solider stood still with a gun perched in his hands. Behind this mysterious man were two huge doors ready to be opened.

Proportions

Outside the gloomy gates a solider stood still
Beyond the car a man with a gun opens the gate
Between the car and the building men stood without move meant

Read more »

Of mice of men
In the 1930’s, the mentally disabled were seen as inferior to regular people by society. Most were put in asylums, institutions that supposedly helped cure mental illness, however these asylums seemed to do the complete opposite.

In these asylums, the staff was short-handed and often very cruel to the patients. The staff often physically and verbally abused to make the patients behave. When they did not behave, punishment was very severe.

One of the most infamous treatments for
mental illness of the time was a lobotomy.
Introduced to asylums in the early 1930’s, this
treatment resulted in permanent brain damage
to the patient.

Living conditions in asylums were often unsanitary and overcrowded, which was a direct result of the neglectful staff.Two other common treatments for mental illness were ice bathes and electroshock therapy. Both
treatments were cruel, inhumane, and resulted
in further brain damage to already ill individuals.

An example of how the mentally
disabled were treated in the 30’s,
is the story of Lennie Smalls in
“Of Mice an Men.” Lennie has
little job and social skills and
depends on his friend George for
help. George’s actions towards
Lennie show how most people
view the mentally disabled at
this time.

In this essay you have demonstrated a confident knowledge of a range of language devices that are typical of both spoken language and text communication. You have succeeded in showing how these forms are fluid and that they influence each other. The essay also explores, and in many cases celebrates, the creativity of spoken and text language. Your idea about modern spoken language being adventurous was excellent.

To develop your work further you will want to consider:

STRUCTURE:

• This essay was structured into paragraphs, and most dealt with one point – which is ideal. What it missed was a strong introduction that re-stated the question and outlined the points you were going to make.
• Some of the body paragraphs were incomplete as they didn’t all have specific examples (quotations) to support the points you were making.

CONTENT:

• While you demonstrated some sophistication in your thinking about spoken language and text language, there were times when you got your terms confused. It appeared that you were often discussing slang (Which is an aspect of spoken language) when you should have been talking about spoken language as a whole. This made some of the content of the essay a little difficult to de-code
• It would have been good to have seen discussion and examples of a wider range of language devices to support your ideas – especially the idea of modern spoken language as being adventurous

Your Annotated Paper:

JORDAN: KL

JACK: SWEET

ALFIE: YOO

JACK: YOU LOT ALRIGHT

JORDAN: YHH WBU

ALFIE: YEAH WBU

JACK: YEHH IM GD

ALFIE: PROPA TIERD THO

JACK: YEHH SAME ERE (=|(YAWN FACE)

JORDAN: I GOT DT BARE COURCEWORK

ALFIE: PE ITS LIVVVEEE

ALFIE: I AINT GOT NO HW

JACK: AINT IT THEORY THOUGH ALF THAT’S BARE LONG INIT!!

JORDAN: LUCKY U

JORDAN: I DO

JACK: MY COURCEWORK IS DONE SO IT IS CAJJ (BIG SMILE FACE)

ALFIE:  NA ITS NOT EVEN LONG MR GOLDSMITHS A LIVE TEACHER MAKES IT JOKES

JORDAN: YH LIKE YOU DON’T DO PRATICAL ALL THE TIME

JACK: YEHH HES SICK (Y) (THUMBS UP)

ALFIE: YH ONLY ON MONDAY THEN I THINK 2 THEORY OR 3 DUNNO

JORDAN: I HAVE DT CORCEWORK DUE 4 TOMORROW :,( (CRY FACE)

JACK: PEAK HAVE TO DO IT TONIGHT 😛 (TONGUE OUT)

JORDAN: YH NO XBOX 4 ME

ALFIE: I DON’T HAVE NONE

JACK: ANYWAY IM GOING, SWEET

ALFIE G2G LESSON NOW

JORDAN: KL

My opinion is positive I think that it can open people’s minds up and make them use their imagination more by creating words and challenging words they don’t understand that are from slang. Slang can be helpful in many ways like all over London, for example there are many slang words that are the same all over but some are different. But if you use them with a certain person that knows slang they could think and look at you in a different way because you have made them feel more at home or commutable speaking to you in slang than in Standard English. And this is only some of the reasons I think slang is a good thing.

My first strong point is supporting my positive opinion on slang. It is about how it can show where you’re from witch links with your age and what type of background you have come from. There are so many different slang words e.g. SICK which means a lot of things in slang and here are some examples it means really cool and good in slang but in Standard English it means vomit or something not pleasant or nice. This is where it can show someone’s age by looking at the way they use words, for example if you said to an older person “that ride looks sick” they wouldn’t understand what you meant they would most likely think or say “what do you mean the ride is sick it can’t be unwell or sick”. This leads onto my next strong point about spoken slang and text slang.

My second strong point is about sarcasm in spoken slang and in text language. Sarcasm came from spoken language but has influenced text language in several different ways here are some examples: emoticons (which are smiley faces like thisJ ), slang (which is a range of created words or current words but they have changed the meaning of and is mainly used by younger generation’s). The creativity of spoken slang mixes well with sarcasm but not too well with text language, because it is harder to show you are being sarcastic because you can’t see what their body language is or what tone of voice they are using witch is the how you mainly show sarcasm.

My complete idea of spoken slang and text language is that slang stands out the most and I think it is because it is more creative also more adventurous, and that you can lean a lot about other things by understanding slang. The creativity of slang I think was a mix of text and spoken language, and that they have combined some of their aspects for example abbreviations they come from text not spoken but now spoken slang have picked up some abbreviations such as LOL (lough out loud) which is used in text slang but the other definition of LOL is (lots of love) but when spoken in slang there are trying to get across something is funny or they are joking.

I think in the future that slang will go a long way and I think that is how language has changed for example in 1940 they wouldn’t be saying words like LOL but there would be a aqueivllent of the abbreviation LOL. And I think that slang won’t be lost over time it’s just the words will change and the meaning will change but in the end it will still be slang.

To conclude I think that slang can open up people’s minds more make them think more and be more creative. And as proven in the transcript it can link to an everyday thing such as you are at school and you are just having a chat with your mates about coursework or what lesson you have or next. So my view on spoken slang and text language is that they mix very well together.

JORDAN: KL

JACK: SWEET

ALFIE: YOO

JACK: YOU LOT ALRIGHT

JORDAN: YHH WBU

ALFIE: YEAH WBU

JACK: YEHH IM GD

ALFIE: PROPA TIERD THO

JACK: YEHH SAME ERE (=|(YAWN FACE)

JORDAN: I GOT DT BARE COURCEWORK

ALFIE: PE ITS LIVVVEEE

ALFIE: I AINT GOT NO HW

JACK: AINT IT THEORY THOUGH ALF THAT’S BARE LONG INIT!!

JORDAN: LUCKY U

JORDAN: I DO

JACK: MY COURCEWORK IS DONE SO IT IS CAJJ (BIG SMILE FACE)

ALFIE:  NA ITS NOT EVEN LONG MR GOLDSMITHS A LIVE TEACHER MAKES IT JOKES

JORDAN: YH LIKE YOU DON’T DO PRATICAL ALL THE TIME

JACK: YEHH HES SICK (Y) (THUMBS UP)

ALFIE: YH ONLY ON MONDAY THEN I THINK 2 THEORY OR 3 DUNNO

JORDAN: I HAVE DT CORCEWORK DUE 4 TOMORROW :,( (CRY FACE)

JACK: PEAK HAVE TO DO IT TONIGHT 😛 (TONGUE OUT)

JORDAN: YH NO XBOX 4 ME

ALFIE: I DON’T HAVE NONE

JACK: ANYWAY IM GOING, SWEET

ALFIE G2G LESSON NOW

JORDAN: KL

My opinion is positive I think that it can open people’s minds up and make them use their imagination more by creating words and challenging words they don’t understand that are from slang. Slang can be helpful in many ways like all over London, for example there are many slang words that are the same all over but some are different. But if you use them with a certain person that knows slang they could think and look at you in a different way because you have made them feel more at home or commutable speaking to you in slang than in Standard English. And this is only some of the reasons I think slang is a good thing.

My first strong point is supporting my positive opinion on slang. It is about how it can show where you’re from witch links with your age and what type of background you have come from. There are so many different slang words e.g. SICK which means a lot of things in slang and here are some examples it means really cool and good in slang but in Standard English it means vomit or something not pleasant or nice. This is where it can show someone’s age by looking at the way they use words, for example if you said to an older person “that ride looks sick” they wouldn’t understand what you meant they would most likely think or say “what do you mean the ride is sick it can’t be unwell or sick”. This leads onto my next strong point about spoken slang and text slang.

My second strong point is about sarcasm in spoken slang and in text language. Sarcasm came from spoken language but has influenced text language in several different ways here are some examples: emoticons (which are smiley faces like thisJ ), slang (which is a range of created words or current words but they have changed the meaning of and is mainly used by younger generation’s). The creativity of spoken slang mixes well with sarcasm but not too well with text language, because it is harder to show you are being sarcastic because you can’t see what their body language is or what tone of voice they are using witch is the how you mainly show sarcasm.