Jordan's English Journal

In this essay you have demonstrated a confident knowledge of a range of language devices that are typical of both spoken language and text communication. You have succeeded in showing how these forms are fluid and that they influence each other. The essay also explores, and in many cases celebrates, the creativity of spoken and text language. Your idea about modern spoken language being adventurous was excellent.

To develop your work further you will want to consider:

STRUCTURE:

• This essay was structured into paragraphs, and most dealt with one point – which is ideal. What it missed was a strong introduction that re-stated the question and outlined the points you were going to make.
• Some of the body paragraphs were incomplete as they didn’t all have specific examples (quotations) to support the points you were making.

CONTENT:

• While you demonstrated some sophistication in your thinking about spoken language and text language, there were times when you got your terms confused. It appeared that you were often discussing slang (Which is an aspect of spoken language) when you should have been talking about spoken language as a whole. This made some of the content of the essay a little difficult to de-code
• It would have been good to have seen discussion and examples of a wider range of language devices to support your ideas – especially the idea of modern spoken language as being adventurous

Your Annotated Paper: