Communication 
1 Comment Paragraph Practice
Lennie
“I remember about the rabbits George ”
This sums leennie up he repeats it all the way threw the book it show that he could look at the world as a dream but he thinks it can come true and is the type of person that will always need help because he is very simple minded or crazy as they would have said but he had a disability but people didn’t understand back then and the way the author describes him u can see how he understood him and he gave a good description to make u see how it was for people and for him in the book for example George has to keep repeating where there going when there outside Soledad he forgot where they where going but remembered his dream his fantasy about the rabbits and the farm but in that time it was very hard because of the great depletion and George know this but to keep him happy and something to keep him going he is described by what he looks like first then the way he acts such as a really good worker and a harmless giant but can do things bad such as in there last job in weed he liked this dress but then when he reached to get it the woman pulled back and it ripped the dress so it looked like rape that is an example of him being miss under stood witch is why he is described how he is and what views people have on him and how it effects them and especially George since he looks after him and also if George didn’t have lennie he would be lonely same for lennie they need each other to survive from lonely ness and life
And that’s my option on the caritour in mice of men
This paragraph has some real strengths and some issues too.
Strengths:
– Clear and accurate explanation of features of the character Lennie with specific reference to quotations (though there could be more quotations for this much information)
– A developed discussion, where you make a point, then you develop on that point by giving a new example or information that strengthens it
Areas for work:
– Your sentences are too long – try to simplify your writing, especially the sentences, as this will make it a lot easier to clearly understand each point you make.
– Give an example every time you make a point (that means use a quote)
– Add to this argument by explaining the importance of dreams in of Mice and Men. You’ve shown how the dream is communicated, but you didn’t quite manage to convince me why it’s so important.
A good trick is to (in your own mind) keep asking yourself when you make a point “Why is this important” and then write down your answer to that.
You’re going well, Jordan.
Mr Waugh